I never really have a particular interest, an interest that is exciting to write or go in dept about, neither do i feel like my life is particular interesting in a way that i would delve into it with several people. I do however have a brain that tends to work over time on thoughts, thoughts that i can never understand or get my head round myself..
My latest thought being Is everyone as pathetic as they think?
As someone who suffers with anxiety i struggle with alot of things that for some people will be classed as easy, things that will make people laugh in my direction at how unable i am to do some of the slightest tasks.
One of those tasks being meeting new people.
I am yet to pin point the exact reason as to why meeting new people petrifies me so much but it does, may it be facetiming or a face to face meeting i cant handle it. The panic rushes through me and i instantly feel as though whenever their eyes are on me their mind is going crazy on every little thing that may be wrong with me. I feel suffocated in my own skin, forced to act like someone im not. Not only does this effect my relationships with people it also effects my social life. I feel like im a shell compared to the once confident person i grew up to be. It makes me feel pathetic.
This leads me to my thought, Is everyone as pathetic as they think?
You see our mind is a scary place, something that we ourselves have absolutely no control over, something that can change our life within moments. It makes us feel worse then we are, makes us believe things that we wouldnt normally believe. Some people are able to get a hold on their mind, stop it from pulling them into a dark hole, a dark hole that has such a strong pull it takes all our strength and time to get back out again, some people however struggle.
So my answer? No.
I dont think anyone is as pathetic as they think. As people we tend to look at someone who we feel is above us, someone who we think has achieved more in life then ourselves. We are never as pathetic as we think, we are not pathetic, YOU are not pathetic. Youre you and thats the best anyone can be. Yes you may not be like so and so but in your life there is so many achivements youre making but youre so caught up in being something more that you miss out on celebrating all the little things you do, everything you accomplish. Maybe every week think of something youre proud of yourself for achieving, something you done during that week no matter how big or small it is. In time youll fine it makes you a whole lot happier in the long run.
Have a good day