Its funny because after my last blog post about the dentist i never thought i’d be writing another one as i had fully convinced myself that me ever going back was over. I mean it sounds silly letting one event stop you from ever getting any further with a fear or any further with getting my teeth to the way i wanted them but as you may all realise the thought of something somewhat takes over my mind and has me thinking and sometimes doing things i wouldn’t usually do.
Now my dentist appointment, i had tried to forget about it all week, succeeding until i would be reminded by someone then my state of mind would go back to the previous worrying mess it was. I mean its not like i had the choice to pull out of this appointment, as much as i wanted to my teeth clearly needed filling as i wasn’t able to eat certain things due to the fact they were so oversensitive. So i had decided that i was going to pluck up the courage to finally get over my fear.
All day i felt fine, the fact i was going to the dentist didn’t seem to bother me one bit which was strange really, i dont think ive ever experienced such a laid back morning when ive had late appointments before. This time however as the afternoon creeped in i felt worse, it all hit me at once, i was a bundle of nerves. The thing is with a dentist is the idea that i could potentially not breathe whilst they are working on my teeth and not being able to breathe properly majorly set off my anxiety. This combined with the fact i had convinced myself the equipment isn’t safe and something was going to fall off and i could potentially choke. I dont know you could call it an over imaginative mind or just the fact i watch too much tv but i had always convinced myself this.
I find waiting rooms the worst thing about appointments, nothing worse then waiting in a quite room with your thoughts and loads of things surrounding you that is everything you dont want to think of at that time, mix that in with the background noise and my thoughts were having a field day. It was everything and more they needed to create some scenario in my head that i knew wasn’t logically possible and there was absolutely no way it could happen but that didn’t stop me fearing it, worrying about it. I thought about quickly making an escape, walking away from the dentist and just forgetting to book another appointment but then i had the fear they’d hate me and talk about me for leaving it to late to cancel or just laugh at the fact they had seen me walk out.
Eventually i had no other choice to get them done as i had been called in the room, luckily by a completely different woman then i had seen before, maybe they had seen my complaint maybe they hadn’t, who knows. This time everything felt different, the whole atmosphere and just the general happiness radiating around the room, it was like they understood everything and through everything they did nothing but reassure me and talk me through it and i think thats what we need the most, someone that is able to understand and talk whats about to happen through to us. We dont always need you to help us we just need help understanding everything.
I walked out that room with not 1 but 2 fillings, i mean granted one was a huge one and the other one she hardly did anything to the original tooth but the fact i had laid back in a chair and let someone drill away in my mouth for over half an hour was something i cant say im not proud of. I mean i may not be completely over my fear because i suppose no matter what everyone still has a fear of the dentist, its almost like a natural thing but now mine is more natural rather then over the top.
I know its my mind playing tricks on me and i shouldn’t listen to it and i could sit here and tell you all that its completely easy to not listen to your mind, that you’re fully capable of turning your thoughts off almost like a light switch but its not. Its nowhere near as easy and you have to overcome those fears to be able to reassure yourself that the whole thing was merely just a bad thought.
Maybe set yourself a task to complete, dont give yourself a time scale, pressure doesn’t help, but give yourself a task you would like to do, set yourself a goal.You never know you could be better at it then you thought.
My Dentist Drama: https://skylouisewilson.wordpress.com/2016/05/10/my-dentist-drama/