I felt as though i needed to finish my counselling blog posts in a way that explains my way of thinking and everything that was involved in the final decision.
I am not going back to counselling.
The last time i went for a session i felt somewhat put down and made to feel that everything was down to me being an attention seeker or a drama queen. I felt hurt and it pushed my confidence down to the lowest level it has ever been and with everything going on in my personal life at the moment i felt like it wasn’t giving me the release from my thoughts that i was promised.
The first time i went counselling i put it down to my expectations being too high and me going by what i had seen on TV and read about in books so even though i didn’t really want to i gave it a second go and went back with no expectations other than to be treated with respect. Now not only did i get put down for keeping a blog about my progress and experiences in life i was also made to feel like i was lazy. Therefore i came to the decision to not go back to counselling.
Now when i say i will not go back to counselling im not ruling getting help out im simply ruling out the counselling people i was with. As i said in previous posts im unsure whether the woman had something against me personally or she just had a bad day every day i went in but when i put myself in a mindset to do counselling i expect even the tiniest bit of a positive outcome. Im aware that doesn’t come straight away and you have to work for it but to be put down to a degree you become even more secluded then what you are is ridiculous. As i have many resources now i am currently going down the self help route and searching through every option available to me in the hopes of living somewhat a normal life.
I will write my blog posts whilst im going through a self help journey as even though i have posted some pointers on it in the past i have never fully experienced it and i feel as though thats a completely different situation then just reading and being informed on the subject. Im aware this route is probably going to be harder as i am completely on my own with no professional help but in the long run it might help me more than someone else could and if not i have many paths to look down on what could help me in the future.
I feel like ive hit a stump these past years when ive been relying on someone else to give me the answers to my questions when in fact the whole time i needed to be asking myself these questions because granted i probably wont know the answer straight away but i’ll learn like the same with everything in life, you learn from experience. This just may be many more bad experiences then good.
Have a good day
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