Looking back and looking forward…

First of all i want to start off by saying i hope everyone had a really good Christmas and was blessed with lots of happiness and memories to last forever. My Christmas didn’t start off very well due to everyone waking up not very well but i was lucky enough to have my 3 favourite people and my brother in 1 room for some of the day followed with boxing day with my beautiful nieces so i had an amazing Christmas!

With 2016 coming to an end i felt like it was only right to look back on some events of the past year and reflect on them. So starting way back to the start of the year. I was pretty lucky as the first few months of 2016 were quite drama free which isn’t very often in my family. I must admit that those months were the first time in my life that i felt properly content with everything, felt like i could concur everything that came my way. I was able to go out on new years eve and have my first proper night out and for once i felt like a proper teenager. I felt like everyone else in the room. Then to turning 19 in February and feeling like this was my year to turn over a new leaf and focus on other things in my life to try and get it somewhat back on track.

Obviously later in 2016 everything went abit crazy from my dad becoming progressively worse with his health and us being told there was nothing anyone could do about my mums illness it was a tough few months. I somehow fell back into my old ways and became depressed and hidden within myself. I stopped going out and spent all my time indoors helping and looking after my parents. Then my dad ended up in hospital and i cant express enough how utterly proud of him i am at the fact he has not had one cigarette for MONTHS now and for someone who has smoked everyday since he was 19 i think thats one hell of an achievement.

I must point out the positives aswell as the negatives, or mention a mixture of both positive and negative depending on which side you take this. I started therapy again and then ended it within 3 lessons, finally realising within myself that i needed to work on who i am as a person and what i can do to help myself as Councillors just wasn’t working for me in the slightest.

Coming up to the end of 2016 is very bittersweet, this has been a hard year. A year of realising and a year of alot of hurt within the family but i can say that i am looking forward to the happiness and peace 2017 could potentially bring me.

Looking forward to 2017 is scary. In February i will no longer be a teenager, ill be 20. A fully grown adult. I as of yet have no idea where my life is planning to take me or what may happen in my future. I know what i would like to happen and getting my own place, my driving license and potentially adopting is something i feel very strongly that i want to achieve.

Career wise i dont really have a goal. I have things that i would love to chase up on and make myself out of but ever since i was younger i’ve always had that desire to be a mother nothing else. I mean granted im obviously going to have a job that i enjoy and im able to wake up for every day but in the future i like the idea of having a house full of kids. Im unsure whether thats because i have looked after my nieces since i was 16 or not but its something i love.

I must make it clear however that i am in no rush whatsoever to have children and it probably wont be for a couple more years yet as i am still finding myself and letting my inner youngster out. I also would like an ok paid job so im somewhat stable. So maybe for 2017 i’ll just stick to getting my driving license (and maybe a dog or 2 or 3. Maybe 4)

I hope you all have a very good new year. Ill see you in 2017!

Sky x

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