I frequently get asked the question on whether my anxiety effects my eating in anyway and if im honest with you all I’ve never really thought about how and what i eat in depth as its almost become a routine for me. So I thought for this blog post i would describe what my eating is like on my bad and good anxiety days and whether i feel anxious about certain types of food and how i go about them.
If im honest with you i dont eat very many full meals. I remember being able to go to school and pig out constantly then coming home just to eat even more. Since i left school and my anxiety got bad i dont go near new foods, if i wasn’t used to it before then i wont try it. Its almost like a fear inside me that stops me from eating anything out of my comfort zone whether that be sweets or just a simple sauce to put on top of my chips. Even if im used to the food if it looks gross i wont eat it for the fear theres something wrong with it.
For the past couple of months all i have eaten for dinner is microwave pizzas, you know those Chicago town ones that you put in the microwave for 3 and a half minutes. I will rarely go out of that and when i do it will simply be a roast or a small takeaway I’ve been getting since i can remember even then i wont eat it all. I dont have breakfast, ever. Im just not hungry when i first wake up, if anything i feel sick with anxiety with what the day could bring and when i do finally get hungry its at least 2 in the afternoon and then theres no point in having anything to eat until my pizzas.
I remember a couple of weeks back i had a terrible week, my anxiety was sky high and all i ate was 2 microwave pizzas and a banana for 4 days, i mean granted i downed at least 3 litres of coke but other then that i felt too sick and scared to eat. Often however i will snack throughout the day on a bag of sweets. Even then they have to be very specific sweets, i wont touch those sweets that leave a weird smell on your hand in fear of what they have in them.
I do go out to eat. Mcdonalds and sometimes jennys. I wont go anywhere else, i like feeling comfortable and those places make me feel like that and im not sure if thats because i have the same thing every time i go there so im used to it now or what. I mean granted it completely over looks my fear of whats in foods but for some reason i feel ok with these places, probably the stupidest thing ever said but it makes sense to me.
I eat very little, i am aware of that but its how i am. I do however drink alot. I have at least 4 hot drinks in the day and i constantly have cans or bottles of coke laying near me that i drink throughout the day so i suppose in some way you can say im replacing my food with litres of coke. I have been told constantly by my counselors that the caffeine in coke is what makes my anxiety worse then it probably would be and i did make myself not drink it for weeks but i became so weak that i went straight back to drinking it.
Apart from all that ive mentioned before this i feel as though im pretty normal with food. Granted on my really anxious days i dont eat but then would you if you constantly felt on edge and like you was going to throw up if you hadn’t already?
Now i am in no way saying that 100% my bad eating is linked to my anxiety in anyway i am simply putting out there what my eating is like on good and bad days and answering a question i was asked. However I do feel as though on my bad days my anxiety effects my eating but i also think its different for every person. It could not effect some peoples eating habits or it could effect them massively, its all down to the individual.
Have a good day