This is me and my mental health.
Well I always knew something was wrong with me since around year 3/4. I used to be a bubbly child. I used to be care free. But that all changed. My upbringing was hard but my parents managed it.
From year seven I would get bullied and get beaten up because my mum was a lesbian. I had no friends. I used to go to school then come home. As I got to year eight the bullying got worse. I didn’t know how to handle things. I managed to make a small group of friends. The first friends I had.
In year nine it got harder and harder. I would go to school and I would panic. My grades started to drop.
I started to have panic attacks everyday before school. I couldn’t handle it. I started to fall behind.
Year 10 I finally snapped. I was too scared to do anything, I was scared to go school, I was scared to go anywhere. I had an emotional breakdown. I met someone who I though would change me. Oh I was wrong, but I didn’t know that.
In year 11 the most important year of my life, I got with someone who I thought would be understanding and be kind. He was the complete opposite of this. He hurt me. He left me because I had a mental illness. He used me and thought it was funny. I failed every single one of my GCSEs. I got three Ds and two Es. Eight months after all this, I got into sixth form doing subjects I really enjoy. I found someone who is ever so loving towards me, supports me, helps me and most importantly understands me. I spoke to him about my problems and he understood and helped me. I fell in love with him. He fell in love with me. He’s been so supportive over the past few months. He knows I have anxiety and recently been diagnosed with depression. He’s helping me to get the best grades so I can do what I want to do in the future. I help him too!
The ways I cope with my anxiety.
I recently changed schools. After five years of being at the same school. I moved to the other secondary school in my town. It was ever so scary! My anxiety built up ever so much! I had a slight panic attack on the way to the school but I held my phone in my hand and I was okay. The head of sixth form spoke to my old teachers and she supports me with my mental health.
Anyway ways to cope:
• Always have something in your pocket. I always keep my headphones in my pocket. This is because if I ever feel panicked I always untangle my head phones and then I feel a bit better.
• Have something nice to think about. Example: Your future! During my exams back in November. I started to panic and then I thought about the future I will have with my boyfriend. It calmed me down.
• Put pen to paper! Wrote your thoughts or draw something! I always draw loads of squiggly lines and then colour the over lapping lines. It helps, it calms you down.
• Talk to someone! I always talk to my boyfriend and it helps me ever so much! Then he gives me advice.
• Always keep yourself busy! It sounds stupid but I’ve found out even though I’m so tired if I do something such as make a cup of tea. I feel a Bit lighter.
These are only things I’ve managed to do to cope with my anxiety. I haven’t figured out how to cope fully with my depression yet. But I know for a fact I’m trying!
Mental health is scary I’ll admit that! But once you find ways to cope life becomes a little easier! Still this day I have minor panic attacks about silly things and some days have a struggle of getting out of bed, but I try and try!
I’m 17 and nearly finished my first year of sixth form, I have the best boyfriend and I’ve never been prouder of myself than I am today!
Don’t be scared to ask for help! There’s always people willing to help you!
If you ever need to talk! You can message me!