Traveling again for the first time in 4 years!!

I remember the first day after Wireless was booked and how nervous and consumed with different thoughts i was. I was worried that i would chicken out days before or even last minute and there was no way at all that i would get in the train station where i live let alone on a train on the way to London.

If im completely honest it was alot calmer then i thought. Im unsure whether that was because i was around friends and didn’t particularly want to embarrass myself as internally i felt anything but calm. I felt worse. My body being overtaken with the worst feelings from the middle of Saturday meaning the dinner that was so nicely cooked for me by one of my best friends i didn’t eat because i just felt too sick at the thought of travelling. Our Saturday consisted of trying to get ready for the Sunday as we had to wake up early and just relaxing. If im honest we did alot more relaxing then we should have. Aiming to go to sleep at 9 and still being awake at gone 1 in the morning when we had a 4am alarm. I regret however that with all the laughing we did there was only an hour of sleep before we woke up at 3:30am to begin our journey.

Getting ready Sunday morning was all a rush so the thought of actually travelling completely vanished from my mind until we left. See we had made plans to go to mcdonalds to have breakfast before we left and just the thought that we were so clearly going somewhere not local meant i felt sick to my stomach but i knew i needed to eat else i’d be feeling even more sick then i did. The taxi journey to the train station however, i felt everything in my body completely overreact and the level of tears i was already holding back seemed to higher in level but the last thing i really wanted to do was cry.

I cant really explain the feeling of walking into the train station and instantly seeing the tracks, it was like i was having some out of body experience. Part of me was petrified beyond belief but then part of me was over the moon because i had actually done it and was standing there waiting on going to a place that i hadn’t been able to go to in 4 years! I mean granted i wish it stayed that way for the whole of the wait but as soon as we collected our tickets it felt more real and again i was back at that place of holding back the tears and close to chickening out. When i say i was close to chickening out i dont think many people are aware just how close i was, i was so tempted to just walk out of the train station and forget about the whole thing especially when the train became delayed but thanks to the confidence boosts from my best friends i was able to get on the train and on my way to London before i knew it.

To say getting on the train made me feel 10X better would be a lie. The moment i stepped onto the train i had this rush feeling like i was going to pass out and that pretty much stayed with every knock and wobble the train carriage had. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach making itself known every now and again just to make sure i was aware it was still there. The journey felt like it went on forever yet somehow we were there in just over an hour.

When we got to London i felt a sense of relief, after 4 years of absolute horror to get here i was finally walking down those escalators in St Pancras station. I felt like i had achieved something and almost as though i knew this certain event was going to change my life. Yes i still felt extremely anxious over the fact i still had tubes to catch and there was huge crowds gathering everywhere but if im honest with you it didn’t matter. I was finally in London.

The day was amazing and although i had a few wobbles thoughout it and the crowds where sometimes too much to handle i made the most of it and i wouldnt ever rule out doing again, soon maybe. Who knows.

Feel free to Check out my video of the journey there.

Have a good day 

Sky x


Skincare review…..

I must admit before you read any further into this blog im not in the slightest informed in the beauty aspect of things but i personally promised a few people i would do a review on this product after purchasing the 3 step set.

I have always had some trouble with my skin but in the past couple of years it had seemingly gotten worse. To the point makeup would make my face look worse and i would hide away instead of hiding the problem areas because to me it did absolutely nothing but highlight what was wrong and would result in my face becoming extremely sore. The first time my face broke out majorly i went to the doctors not really being aware of what it was as this was so bad and sudden that the thought of it being an allergic reaction came to mind. Turns out it was acne. I got given this godsend of a cream and within a month or three it had all disappeared and i felt somewhat normal again.

The second time i had a major breakout i asked the doctor for the same cream again but got given some stand in and it was absolutely horrible and made my skin feel on fire and full of product 24/7. So i stopped taking it. Whilst i was wondering what to do my dad mentioned the ProActiv+ advert he had seen on TV and said to try it but because of the price i was somewhat reluctant. I’ve never spent so much on mainly myself before. All of my makeup is drug store and many of the brushes are ones I’ve found laying around shops. Yup long story short, i brought it. The name of the one i brought was 30 day 3 step core system.


In fact i was lucky that at the time they had an offer on so i got near enough half of the price knocked off plus a free deep cleansing brush and face mask. I mean i could sit here and say i waited and was really apprehensive about the whole thing seeing as personally i have very sensitive skin but no like a kid in a candy shop i went straight for it and washed my face almost straight away.

My first impression

After thoroughly reading through the instructions i saw they stated to use a pea sized amount, i myself use abit more as my forehead resembles that or Ant Mcpartlin but a pea sized amount is just about enough for people with a normal sized forehead i reckon. The skin exfoliate went on smoothly and didn’t feel gritty as all compared to most. If you follow the instructions and apply it to a wet face then it apply smoothly and is easy to spread around your face. The pore treatment to me is like a normal cream. I have definitely seen a difference with it and I’ve only been using this for 2 weeks.

The Skin Hydrator was another thing altogether. I hated it straight away. Not for the way it applied but for the smell. I absolutely hated it and it made me feel somewhat horrid the first day i used it. I cant really describe the smell which is the most difficult thing but as i have no other hydrators to compare it to i dont think i could give a fair view on it. However now im perfectly fine with using it, i seem to have gotten used to the smell and im perfectly fine with it. Its one of those smells that takes a while but you get over it eventually.

Obviously when purchasing these products i looked up about the face mask and indeed saw that you were able to put it on problem areas that were trying to show their face overnight and it would help calm it down. I hardly ever leave product on my face overnight just because im very cautious about those things. However because the sides of my face were coming out really bad i felt as though it would be the perfect time to test the product. It worked. The mask didn’t completely take away the problem but it definitely calmed the area down. The mask does dry after 10 minutes so i was worried about it making those areas dry but after washing it off with the 3 steps it felt just as good as it was before.

The deep cleansing brush i tried the first week or so but it made my face very sore as i said my skin is very sensitive anyway so i prefer not to use that but i do thing its great how it has two settings so depending on your preference you can choose and the new silicone brush is brilliant for washing as it doesn’t take as long to dry as the normal bristle brush


The two pictures on the left were taken the first day i started Proactiv+ and the picture on the right was taken the 13th day of doing proactiv+

Personally to me there is a HUGE difference. The picture on the right is mainly just after scarring and the last of the spots to go. The picture on the left is pretty mild to what it would usually be but is still inflamed with many a sore spots crowded up to eachother. Obviously my whole face is being done in proactiv+ and i do have many a more problem areas but this was my main one and to see the progress its done in just 13 days makes me want to carry on with it. Definitely worth the somewhat expensive price especially with the results i had. It made my skin overly smooth within the 3rd use and by the 4th day i felt like my face had already made so many improvements. I mean granted it is difficult to be able to stick to having to wash your face and put so many creams on your face twice a day but it brings brilliant results!

Have a good day 

Sky x

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Raising money for Charity!!

Today is a post with a complete turn. If anything it has something more to do with my best friend and her life, a personal life from a different view you could say. Now one of my best friends who herself is a survivor of cancer has a niece. A very poorly niece. Mia is beyond an inspiration. At a young age of 1 and a half acute lymphoblastic leukaemia hit Mia only for her to be given the all clear for it to then make an appearance again 7 months later. Mia is currently receiving on going treatment which i personally wouldn’t know the details of but her charity does indeed have a Facebook page if you would like to hear all about Mia and the obstacles she faces

The charity itself hope to raise enough funds to purchase a holiday home to help other families who have…

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I need your help!

Hello everyone,

This post isn’t going to be related to my anxiety as i feel like this subject needs to be brought to the attention of others as my family is at such a dead end because of it that we really need help.

As some of you may be aware both my parents are quite ill. I’ve gone into detail about my dad as we are aware whats wrong and i feel as though going into detail about what we have experienced will help other people in the same situation. I have never however gone into detail about my mums illness and this is where i need your help.

For as long as i can remember my mums always been poorly, she would spend at least two weeks a month in bed or just generally really poorly but carrying on for us kids, sometimes this lasted longer and for years that was the normal for us. We would creep around constantly with the knowledge that sooner or later my mums illness was going to strike until eventually it got too much and my mum realised it wasn’t normal and went to the doctors. At first the doctors were 100% certain that it was my mums teeth that was causing her the issue to be poorly. How they came to that conclusion i dont have a clue but being so desperate my mum had all her teeth taken out. The illness still carried on the same. Then doctors told my mum she needed to have a hysterectomy as that was the reason why she was being poorly constantly. Now my mum didn’t want to have a hysterectomy because children are always something shes held dear to her but for the sake of the three children she has she went and had it done. Now fast forward about 10 years to finally find out that they had done it incorrectly wasn’t really what we expected after so long. Even that wasn’t the issue as again she still became poorly.

Shes had blood tests after blood tests and they’ve all come back negative. Shes had scan upon scan and they’ve come back clear so now we’re at a dead end. To me its normal, theres never been a time where i dont remember my mum getting poorly so much the only difference is that im aware how unnatural it is but constantly we are turned away and not given much thought because shes able to get on with it when in fact they dont see the effect on her, the weight its making her lose and the fact that its just not a capable way of living. Not only did it effect her life but it effected everyone’s life around her, she missed so many opportunities because of being poorly to the point she would still go to work when she was poorly when me and my siblings were younger and throw up in their toilets because she just couldn’t afford to have them days off until eventually she was sacked but she couldn’t help it as it just wasn’t a thing she was able to do what with constantly becoming sick.

Fast forward to now and nothings different. Shes had a stroke since we were younger and not even that has had such a bad effect this illness is having. Its unpredictable as she can be fine one minute and the next she can be in her bedroom with her head in a bucket or down the toilet and it breaks my heart. It causes her severe pain and even for the two weeks shes not poorly shes suffering because it takes her that long just to recover from it so its a constant cycle of being poorly, having enough time to recover before being struck down with it yet again and ive gotten to the point that i just physically cant let that happen anymore and i have to do something so she can live the rest of her life happy and content.

Im not sure what writing this blog post might do about the situation but im hoping that someone out there understands and has an idea of whats going on so we can get some sort of life back for my mother before she completely gives up. If you have an information or an idea of what could possibly be wrong PLEASE look at my contact me page and get in touch!!!

Have a good day 

Sky x

Anxiety around Children…

Before i get in depth about this blog post i would like to just note here that i am in no way a parent, not legally or biologically. I am an auntie, i mean im sure if you speak to some of my family members they may disagree on that matter but thats a whole load of drama for another time, this blog post is simply the things i experience with my anxiety whilst my nieces are in my care.

For as long as i can remember i have been a very big part of my eldest nieces life. Her coming to stay at our house from a very young age meant mine are her bond grew to be something quite special. As she was growing up obviously you have the initial panicking everyone has when theres a baby around. Constantly checking if shes breathing when she seemed to sleep even a couple minutes longer, the fear of her putting something dangerous in her mouth or simply just the standard fear of her bumping her head when she finally got into the stages of exploring and my god Olivia has done it all.

When Olivia-May was first born i was so anxious to hold her or even pick her up as i never really knew how you was correctly meant to hold a baby and right until i knew she was able to hold her own head up i tried to avoid it, unless that is however someone passed her to me  and i was sitting down. I like to think I’ve become less anxious when holding babies as when my second niece Ellie came along i picked her up and carried her around no problem and she was ALOT smaller then Olivia.

Another thing that caused me to nearly call an ambulance quite often is the eye rolling, and again bare in mind i had no experience with or around children prior to my nieces. Its something that im still not able to handle. I have been told that babies when they’re first born dont have particularly good control of their eyes so some may roll alot where others may be pretty relaxed so i do understand the concept of it but for me personally i panic every time.

Even noises or funny movements. For example my eldest niece Olivia-May who will be 4 in August has this new thing where if shes excited, annoyed or just angry shes shake her body in a fit like manner and it PETRIFIES me. Im unsure where she suddenly picked it up from but as an adult its something i wish she never. I mean granted im happy in the sense there is nothing wrong when she does do it but my mind goes crazy and every time im petrified that its not her doing it and there is something wrong but at that age they eventually grow out of things and this is one of those things im hoping she grows out of soon.

With my eldest niece Olivia we didn’t really have that big a problem with her putting small objects in her mouth as she was quite attached to her dummy so she never really put anything that was dangerous in her mouth, that i can recall anyway but my youngest niece doesn’t have a dummy, never has and doesn’t really give them the time of day which means at any given advantage she will put ANYTHING in her mouth. Like you know when you’re sitting playing bricks after dinner and she picks something up and puts it in her mouth, i have that panic every time until its either out her mouth or we realise its nothing but abit of dinner shes dropped. Trust me that kid can eat.

Reading through these i like to think they’re quite normal things to be anxious about around children and they are. I mean i do have the odd moment when i become anxious thinking about what situation might be unfolding but thats not talk for such a public writing platform.

So all in all i dont think i get anymore anxious then a normal person around children, if im honest i feel like im alot more relaxed in the sense they dont take anything seriously, you can never do wrong in a kids eye and you never have any expectations from them to do anything, i mean i do spoil them both quite alot but i dont feel like i have to constantly be on edge around them in the way i would be in an adult situation. If anything they help my anxiety which is probably a good thing with the amount of time i spend looking after them. In all honesty it could become completely different the day i become a mother to my own kids and i could look back on this blog post wishing it was all this easy but that isn’t for at least another couple of years so for now i think i can rest a little.

Have a good day

Sky x




For this blog post i thought i would do something a little different, follow the trend for a change. The idea not only for me to let you have more of an insight into the things i like but just for abit of fun.

1. What is your favorite Christmas film?

Im pretty boring when it comes to Christmas films, my favourite probably being that of most of the population. The Polar Express.

2. Have you ever had a White Christmas?

No, Living in the UK snow hardly ever really exists anyway, it either dissapears witin minutes due to it being quickly followed my rain or it immediately turns into hard ice. Growing up i can never remember having a White Christmas which is upsetting because it is a dream of mine but i did have a slightly White Birthday last year!

 3. Where do you usually spend your holiday?

I always spend my Christmas holiday at home with my family. We wake up in the morning in our house and during the day we take a walk to my nans. I couldn’t ever imagine spending Christmas any other way.

4. What is your favorite Christmas song?

My favourite Christmas song this year is a cover of O come, All Ye Faithful by pentatonix i would attach a link but i have yet to find the official song on youtube, it is on spotify though!

5. Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

No. I think i have once but its just not something that happens in my family.

6. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

Rudolph, Dasher, Prancer, Donner, Vixen…..(no, no i cannot)

7. What holiday traditions are you looking forward to most this year?

Cooking all our Christmas treats on Christmas Eve.We do it every year and its something i always look forward to especially as i do it with my dad and its like our little bonding time together.

8. Is your Christmas tree real or fake?


9. What is your all-time favorite holiday food/sweet treat?

Those big tubs of mini cheddars. Never last long when im around!

10. Be honest: do you like giving gifts or receiving gifts better?

As much as i enjoy receiving Christmas presents i must admit that lately since growing up alot ive come to appreciate and enjoy the look of surprise on peoples faces and their enjoyment out of what i have given them for Christmas. So definitely giving gifts.

11. What is the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

A fish. I had pestered my mum and dad for a pet for so long and even though it was only a fish i still couldnt believe i was finally allowed. It was such a grown up moment for me.

12. What would be your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

I dont have a dream place. I couldnt imagine spending the holidays anywhere but at home if im honest.

13. Are you a pro-present wrapper, or do you fail miserably?

I like to think im a pro but i do go over the top with the cellotape as i like the presents to look perfectly neat so if anything is hanging where it shouldnt i tape it down until the whole thing is nice and secure.

14. Most memorable Holiday moment?

Every Christmas that my family are well enough to celebrate it together is a memorable moment for me.

15. What made you realize the truth about Santa?

The truth about Santa? What did he do?

16. Do you make New Years resolutions? Do you stick to them?

I think i made a new years resolution once. I stuck to it for about 1 day then it sort of went out the window. Maybe next year!

17. What makes the holidays special for you?

Everything. Christmas is such a special time for me and my family and its something i will always treasure in my memories no matter how old i become. The one thing that does make it extra special is if one of my parents isn’t ill which is rare in my house but very special to my heart when it does.


And there it is guys! Thats the Christmas tag questions from, how many of you are doing it this year?

Dont forget to follow my blog as every day up until Christmas i will be posting a blog post!! 

Have a good day

Sky x


December 1st: 24 Days Leading Up To Christmas

December 2nd: Giving At Christmas

December 3rd: Santa Claus was in my living room?

December 4th: Anxiety at Christmas…

December 5th: Christmas Decorating…

December 6th: My favourite Christmas treat…

December 7th: Christmas over the years….

December 8th: 20 Blogmas Ideas….

December 9th: My Christmas Playlist

December 10th: My Christmas List….

Anxiety leading up to an event….

I came to the realization whilst staring at the ceiling trying to forget the fact i have a huge mess around me that needs to be tidied up that i have in fact never wrote a post about lead up anxiety. Now I am aware this can also be called just anxiety but what i mean is the thought of a certain event causing you to have anxiety for a long period of time.. As anxiety doesn’t just occur on the day of the event it can start from weeks before, the mere thought of it sending you into a panic. At this current moment in time i am in fact going through this, an upcoming mouth surgery i have to have playing in the back of my mind constantly. The thought absolutely terrifying me.

Personally i go through this many times, often leaving things till the last possible moment i can purely so the length of time i have anxiety about it is shortened. I remember when i traveled to bath and the whole 5 hour journey there i was in a pure panic and in tears on the phone the whole time. The night before that i cried myself to sleep at the thought, it petrifying me that i would have to go so far and leave so much behind for a period of days. This had occurred since the day i brought my tickets, im not saying i wasn’t excited because i was. It was a weekend to be able to go to the x factor and have time to myself but i just couldn’t stop myself from feeling anxious and sick and constantly bursting out in tears.

Another time i remember is when i went on a college trip, i had stayed at my nans the night before meaning i had already been away from my mum for a night already and i can just remember myself hiding in the spare room crying because i didn’t really want to go but back then i felt like i had something to prove to people as i had left school and didn’t really have anything going for me. I ended up spending every night crying because my anxiety completely took over me and i just threw up constantly, it making it worse by the fact i had to share a room and a toilet with several people so i never did get a minute to myself.

I remember before i got bad and i was able to travel i had traveled to London but spent the whole week leading up to it in bed throwing up and constantly feeling extremely anxious only to get to London and completely break down. Then when my anxiety got worse i would book things but spend the whole time before them panicking, crying in my bedroom and if i thought about it too much i would throw up and be in bed sick for a few days. The pressure on top of the anxiety to go making everything worse, making me become poorly so i never did go, meaning i had spent all that money and felt all that anxiousness for nothing.

I haven’t yet thought of a way to solve it as at this moment in time im not even attempting to travel anywhere or do anything out of my dept as i know just how bad it would turn out. You see ive had many suggestions thrown at me. Dont think about it? Thats impossible when its your main trigger, when you know it will probably end up in a disaster. Go through with it anyway? Oh how i wish i was one of those people that could ignore my anxiety and still travel but im not. I know my anxiety controls me but thats something i need to sort out for myself.

You see many people tell you to go through with something and then your anxiety for that would disappear but i dont think they understand to an extent just how bad it can get. They cater for the anxiety you get at the precise moment you’re going through with it, they dont at all think about the anxiety leading up to it. The tiny feeling that is constantly there throughout your days reminding you about it and niggling away at your thoughts. In my long history of counselling i have never once been given any help with the everyday anxiety, the little attacks you have when leading up to something big, they have only ever focused on a big event and i think thats where they’re going wrong.

Do any of you have a way you help your anxiety leading up to things? Im open for suggestions.

Thank you 

Sky x