Obsessions are something you’re not necessarily aware you’re doing. They start off slowly and suddenly you’re stuck in the middle of this situation where you’re unsure on whether to keep going with the obsession or try and ween yourself away.
Throughout our lifetime we probably go through several of these, most of them being normal and completely healthy obsessions with what may be a product or a person (somewhat healthy then?) whereas other times it can be completely out of the blue.
My obsession was and still is somewhat embarrassing and very pathetic sounding. I take screenshots on my phone. Not in the bitchy way or the way in which you would send to a group chat. I screenshot because of the time. If i open my phone i HAVE to screenshot it, granted now it isn’t that excessive and im able to only do it if i feel as though the time has some sort of significance to it but its still pretty much there.
I remember i started doing it because of 11:11, a time these days that is often associated with good luck and then i started to do it on other times like 12:12, 23:23 or even times like 01:23 or 12:30. My body then was taken over by panic at the thought of not doing it every time i opened my phone, this meaning even if it was clicked on accidentally and the screen lit up i would HAVE to screenshot it because if i didn’t i would be taken over by this overwhelming feeling of panic.
It was like an anxiety attack but also very different from one. Not only was i anxious at the thought of what may happen if i didn’t screenshot i was also anxious of forgetting to screenshot meaning most of my time was taken over by making sure that was at the front of my mind in order to screenshot it. It even got to a point that my entire camera roll was filled with screenshots. Below I’ve attached a picture showing just the extent of my obsession, although you cant see the time and this was just a few of them screenshots it gives you the idea of how bad it got.
Eventually i was lucky enough to be able to get out of the mind set that i NEEDED to screenshot every time im on my phone and i currently only do it at times i feel are special in respect to what hour it is. So the anxious obsession is still very much present and showing itself.
To me personally it is strange and embarrassing but i feel as though its good to talk about it and get it out there so other people who may have what they feel strange anxious obsessions can know they’re not alone and its perfectly ok.
Have a good day
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