Todays post is going to be a little different then usual, completely off topic in fact. However it is something that i have been holding in as a secret for MONTHS and i can finally share with you as the day i put this blog post up the secret will be out!!
I am 19 now, 20 in less then 2 weeks and for as long as i can remember my step-dad has been the main man in my life. Stepping up to take on 3 kids and to treat us like his own is only something you could wish would happen to such an unfortunate family like us. I have always been grateful but i feel as i was younger i didn’t quite realise how grateful i should of been and i completely took him for granted, quite honestly i treated him like crap and if im being completely honest with you guys i did right up until i was 16 years old.
You see i never really questioned my real dad as to me my step-dad was as real as it could get, he was the man who stood up to do something my biological father failed too and that was enough for me. On my 16th birthday my biological father got in touch, im not going into detail but the whole time he was in the picture i felt strange and i couldn’t really put my finger on it, i felt strange and very guilty.I must state here that my step-dad has made it very clear from the beginning that if we ever did want to contact our biological dad he would be 100% behind us no matter what but i couldn’t help but feel a massive load of guilt. Here i was talking to a complete stranger, someone i had wrote a letter to years before only to throw it away when reality hit me in the face. However it was nothing like i expected it would be, it felt like i was just talking to a stranger and i had completely no connection and interests in wanting to know him, i later came to realise he hadn’t changed much and still wasn’t a very nice man. It made me appreciate my step-dad more.
I mean i never did speak to my real dad myself, not really feeling like i wanted too, always talking through someone else, to me he wasn’t my dad. This is when i realised this man i had treated like crap for years who had voluntarily looked after me ever since i was just a tiny toddler was my dad. Granted he wasn’t my dad biologically but he had such a place in my heart that he might aswell be.
He was the one that got me out of my fear of water, helped me with my homework, the person i would spend hours and hours decoration or building things with, the man who would shout at me and i would shout back. My god me and him didn’t half get into some arguments and yes at times and still now theres times i want to completely let rip at him and i probably always will, thats what me and him are like.
I had never really thought about him adopting me as growing up that wasnt something i was aware of, not because of it not being spoken about but it just simply didnt cross my mind as something we could do. Looking back on it now im gutted i didnt think of it sooner but sometimes life doesnt work out in the best way.
However i remember a conversation we had probably over a year ago now and im sure it had no context or thought behind it but i remember him saying about how special it would be if one of us did take his name, im sure we were watching a program on it to be honest. Again i never thought about it at the time but lately i’ve been wanting to give him something special, as some of you may be aware hes not very well, and i say that very lightly.
So long story, still kept very long by yours truly, I am now officially and legally Sky Wilson.
As much as i enjoyed being a Ryan for all of my life so far i feel as though this is as special and as big of a thank you that i can give my dad. He doesn’t ask for thank yous in fact hes never really asked for anything but for me personally i feel as though a thank you is in order.
This is also his birthday present so fingers crossed he likes it!!
Have a good day