Raising money for Charity!!

Today is a post with a complete turn. If anything it has something more to do with my best friend and her life, a personal life from a different view you could say. Now one of my best friends who herself is a survivor of cancer has a niece. A very poorly niece. Mia is beyond an inspiration. At a young age of 1 and a half acute lymphoblastic leukaemia hit Mia only for her to be given the all clear for it to then make an appearance again 7 months later. Mia is currently receiving on going treatment which i personally wouldn’t know the details of but her charity does indeed have a Facebook page if you would like to hear all about Mia and the obstacles she faces https://www.facebook.com/Miamoosfoundation/

The charity itself hope to raise enough funds to purchase a holiday home to help other families who have been effected by childhood cancer and to help them receive well deserved rest beyond their hospital visits and to help create memorable times for the families.

Personally ive only met Mia once. The one time i did meet her was at her Aunties wedding. Im more then aware how poorly she was at the time but you would have never seen that through her. She was happy and full of smiles and just fully enjoying herself. It inspired me beyond belief.

Since then Mia has sadly gotten more poorly and as three people we wanted to do something to help raise the spirit of her family and other families effected so on the 23 July 2017 Me, Her auntie Kerri-ann and our friend Lauren will be doing a Colour Run in aid of Mia Moos Foundation and i would LOVE and APPRECIATE it so much if you could all help us reach near or even on the target. It would mean alot to be able to help and give back.

You can click to Donate Here and please leave your name so we can personally thank you in the future, Thank you so much.

Have a good day

Sky x

I need your help!

Hello everyone,

This post isn’t going to be related to my anxiety as i feel like this subject needs to be brought to the attention of others as my family is at such a dead end because of it that we really need help.

As some of you may be aware both my parents are quite ill. I’ve gone into detail about my dad as we are aware whats wrong and i feel as though going into detail about what we have experienced will help other people in the same situation. I have never however gone into detail about my mums illness and this is where i need your help.

For as long as i can remember my mums always been poorly, she would spend at least two weeks a month in bed or just generally really poorly but carrying on for us kids, sometimes this lasted longer and for years that was the normal for us. We would creep around constantly with the knowledge that sooner or later my mums illness was going to strike until eventually it got too much and my mum realised it wasn’t normal and went to the doctors. At first the doctors were 100% certain that it was my mums teeth that was causing her the issue to be poorly. How they came to that conclusion i dont have a clue but being so desperate my mum had all her teeth taken out. The illness still carried on the same. Then doctors told my mum she needed to have a hysterectomy as that was the reason why she was being poorly constantly. Now my mum didn’t want to have a hysterectomy because children are always something shes held dear to her but for the sake of the three children she has she went and had it done. Now fast forward about 10 years to finally find out that they had done it incorrectly wasn’t really what we expected after so long. Even that wasn’t the issue as again she still became poorly.

Shes had blood tests after blood tests and they’ve all come back negative. Shes had scan upon scan and they’ve come back clear so now we’re at a dead end. To me its normal, theres never been a time where i dont remember my mum getting poorly so much the only difference is that im aware how unnatural it is but constantly we are turned away and not given much thought because shes able to get on with it when in fact they dont see the effect on her, the weight its making her lose and the fact that its just not a capable way of living. Not only did it effect her life but it effected everyone’s life around her, she missed so many opportunities because of being poorly to the point she would still go to work when she was poorly when me and my siblings were younger and throw up in their toilets because she just couldn’t afford to have them days off until eventually she was sacked but she couldn’t help it as it just wasn’t a thing she was able to do what with constantly becoming sick.

Fast forward to now and nothings different. Shes had a stroke since we were younger and not even that has had such a bad effect this illness is having. Its unpredictable as she can be fine one minute and the next she can be in her bedroom with her head in a bucket or down the toilet and it breaks my heart. It causes her severe pain and even for the two weeks shes not poorly shes suffering because it takes her that long just to recover from it so its a constant cycle of being poorly, having enough time to recover before being struck down with it yet again and ive gotten to the point that i just physically cant let that happen anymore and i have to do something so she can live the rest of her life happy and content.

Im not sure what writing this blog post might do about the situation but im hoping that someone out there understands and has an idea of whats going on so we can get some sort of life back for my mother before she completely gives up. If you have an information or an idea of what could possibly be wrong PLEASE look at my contact me page and get in touch!!!

Have a good day 

Sky x

My nieces presents?

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I’ve been asked plenty a times what i have gotten for my two nieces, Olivia-May (3) and Ellie-Harlee (1 1/2) for Christmas. I didn’t particular want to write a post about everything they got as there is quite a list so i felt like i could do it in a way that gives off an idea in case other people are struggling to think of ideas for the little ones in their family. I must also stress that they both have a couple of major presents each which i will not mention in this blog post.

Olivia-May

Now with Olivia its really quite easy. Shes at that age where she is into everything. She sees an advert and immediately its ‘can you get that for my birthday’ whether she really understands what it does or not. The excitement of getting something shes seen is what really fuels her interest in a certain toy. However she happens to go through these stages where shes very obsessed with something. First it was Thomas the tank engine then its dinosaurs and even though she still is quite obsessed with dinosaurs her new current obsession in the secret life of pets and these surprise bags that are also known as blind bags.

Now these blind bags are quite possibly the bane of my life. Granted they are a very good idea but my god im sure i hear her asking for them in her sleep. The moment she claps her eyes on one shes convinced she HAS to have it, along with the other 100 that is with it. The negative to these things being they are as much as £3.50 for quite possibly the littlest toy known to man. Whatever makes her happy i suppose. Youtube also has a very big network of users who do openings so the more she watches the more she wants to get until she has a certain character. In October i got the idea of possibly putting together a large egg or even just a large bag which is filled with different blind bags, just as a bit of fun and so she could experience what everyone on the video does as she watches them with such admiration however i wanted it to be with things i knew she was interested in and played with which was even more difficult as i just knew on the lead up to Christmas she will want every single one she sees. As it was impossible to be able to afford such a large amount of these in a matter of a week before Christmas i had to start straight away in saving the money which meant i searched online for different things i knew wasn’t available in the shops near us. Im hoping with all the planning it works out in time. Wish me luck!

Another thing Olivia is very into is Play doh! Every since she was younger she was very into making things, constantly using her Play Doh! as a way to make new and different dresses or capes for her tiny Disney princesses. Now we have a very small supply of cutters and just general things that could make Play Doh! more fun for her so i went in search for different things, things i knew she would enjoy. I happened to come across a Play Doh! set specifically for making dresses for Disney princesses, result!

The last thing i am going to talk about regarding Olivias presents is this new thing out. Robo fish. When Olivia was i think 2 she got a couple of fish. Sadly for some reason fish just dont seem to like our house. They are looked after and we follow every single instruction to a t but they just dont want to stay. This means we have a very upset Olivia when we have to explain to her that they are in fishy heaven however when she saw this she was absolutely obsessed, on the floor hugging it tightly obsessed. At just £9.99 i had to buy it. A couple of days after i was in Wilkinsons with her and we were in search of a blind bag when she came across a baby dory fish. Me being uneducated i just assumed it was a swigglefish as she has those for her large stingray she has here but on closer inspection i realise it is actually a dory robo fish, again i had to buy it. I cant wait to see her face when she opens that!!

Ellie-Harlee

Ellie, bless my precious one. Shes so sensitive, always has been and probably always will be. Shes not very into much apart from wrecking the place, eating and cuddling her babas so thinking of Christmas presents was very difficult for her as there wasn’t really a range of things she was into. I felt as though it was only safe for me to go for things i knew she would 100% like as i am aware that at her age they go off things very quickly. Like her sister she likes to play (or snatch, you choose) with little dollies however the only ones she has are her elder sisters which happen to have quite small parts for her age (and my very panicky heart) so i thought it would be a nice idea to try and find some dolls that would be just for her, safe and fun.

Now as i mentioned before Ellie is very into dolls and cuddly toys. This meaning for Christmas she is pretty much suffocated in dolls and teddies. Looking around town a month or so ago when i started my Christmas shopping i was abit stuck as i didn’t really want to get her just a normal teddy, i wanted it to be a teddy that she could cuddle but also something fun that she could play with and learn along. I happened to come across a Zootopia teddy which has a switchable outfit and you are also able to learn along with it as it is electronic. For £5.99 i couldn’t resist.

I thought about getting stuff to help Ellie learn as well as play as she is very much cushioned which means shes very slow in picking things up but with the fact shes not into playing very much it can be quite difficult in finding the right toy that could grab her attention long enough. She does however (for the first time) have a big girl pram for her dolls that she can push around as the arguments in this house over whos the pram is is becoming to the point i dont want a sister killing a sister, thank you.

The last thing i am going to mention about Ellies presents is her VERY large elephant teddy. I mean an elephant for Ellie, i can never not. Every since she was younger i was buying her elephant themed things, the cuteness of them and my very amused self couldn’t stop so when i went into Wilkinsons and saw a elephant teddy i couldn’t resist. I mean granted its probably 4 times the size of her but hey at least shell have a cuddle buddy at night!

I’ll be sure to let you know how everything goes on the day!

Dont forget to follow my blog as every day up until Christmas i will be posting a blog post!! 

Have a good day

Sky x

BLOGMAS LINKS.

December 1st: 24 Days Leading Up To Christmas

December 2nd: Giving At Christmas

December 3rd: Santa Claus was in my living room?

December 4th: Anxiety at Christmas…

December 5th: Christmas Decorating…

December 6th: My favourite Christmas treat…

December 7th: Christmas over the years….

December 8th: 20 Blogmas Ideas….

December 9th: My Christmas Playlist

December 10th: My Christmas List….

December 11th: THE CHRISTMAS TAG!!

20 Blogmas ideas….

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As this year is my first year doing Blogmas i didn’t quite realise the struggle it would be to do a post everyday and be able to come up with good content. With my blog specifically being around my mental health and my general life it made it extremely difficult to think of ideas especially when i didn’t want to trail too much off the subject that my blog is about. My first thought when i decided to get involved was that i could do several blog posts in advance then i wouldn’t be struggling so much as i could always keep one blog post ahead of myself, this hasn’t happened. In fact I’ve struggled to even manage to write blog posts what with being so poorly, somehow however ive managed it so far.

I’ve been lucky that i had enough posts to make up the first few days so i could properly relax and help myself recover but they soon went down and i found myself stuck. I had no energy and absolutely nothing to write about. I hadn’t brought anything nor had i done any activities that i could share with you all. This made me think of this post. Im aware this post is going around quite alot but i have never seen a post where the things i could be interested in writing about are in one place so i decided to do my own. Here are 20 ideas you could use for your blog this December:

  • Festive Haul
  • Past Christmases
  • Letter to Santa
  • Recipe for your favourite Christmas treat
  • Decorating for Christmas
  • Charity at Christmas time
  • Guide to saving for Christmas
  • Christmas Day look
  • Whats on your Christmas list
  • A day in the life
  • Product reviews
  • Holiday crafts tutorial
  • Stocking stuffers ideas
  • Make your own Christmas decorations
  • Christmas Playlist
  • Must have advent calendars
  • Festive makeup looks
  • Christmas tag
  • Christmas day Haul
  • Top buys under £20

I hope they help some of you in finding more ideas for this festive time of year!

Dont forget to follow my blog as every day up until Christmas i will be posting a blog post!! 

Have a good day

Sky x

 BLOGMAS LINKS.

December 1st: 24 Days Leading Up To Christmas

December 2nd: Giving At Christmas

December 3rd: Santa Claus was in my living room?

December 4th: Anxiety at Christmas…

December 5th: Christmas Decorating…

December 6th: My favourite Christmas treat…

December 7th: Christmas over the years….

Storytime: Santa Claus was in my living room?

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I decided for my third blog post of December i would speak about the time i was sure for years that i had seen Santa in my living room.

As a little child the temptation of seeing the amount of Christmas presents before your parents did was something you just couldn’t pass. I was always that kid, i would wake up early knowing i wouldn’t be able to see them for hours to then sneak downstairs into the front room and have a feel of the presents to see if i could guess what they were. I mean i agree it was abit cheeky and very rude but when you’re a kid the Christmas magic is still at full level and you cant help but have the urge.

Now this day i remember purely because im still not entirely sure what it was in the living room but lets just say im an adult now and i know. So all my life i have been a very light sleeper, i wake up at doors being opened or people being present in my room or just any noise. This night i remember being woken up by a noise. Now we never had stockings when we were younger, i think we had them around once maybe twice but it just wasn’t something our family liked so we never felt the need to go out and get them, sure we had them hung up for decoration but that was all they were, decoration. So i go downstairs being my curious self as i was very much awake by this point and wondering if Santa had been or not.

I should probably mention this is the time i woke my brother up as lets face it im never brave enough to do these things on my own but somehow i was the one that was made to push the door open, so i did.

My front room door is pretty simple, you push it and it opens. No force is needed, not even the handle being pushed down. Its a simple give it a nudge and it’ll swing open. It didn’t. This is where it gets confusing because i remember the door opening not even a few millimeters, you weren’t even able to get your full hand through the gap it was that small and it refused to open anymore, almost like it had hit something. However after a couple of hours of running to our bedrooms in complete awe at the fact we were pretty 100% sure we saw Santas red suit through the front room doors window we eventually just had to get our parents up and we did. This time when we opened the door is opened PERFECTLY.

When we went in there was nothing that it could of caught on, nothing in sight that could have been moved and im aware some people might say it was my parents putting something the other side of the door but when i said you couldn’t fit a hand in the gap i literally meant a kids hand so there was no way an adult hand could fit through it. This is where ive always been confused. As i mentioned before my whole childhood i was convinced it was Santa and now im not too sure. What i do know it is what very weird!!

 Dont forget to follow my blog as every day up until Christmas i will be posting a blog post!! 

Have a good day

Sky x

 BLOGMAS LINKS.

December 1st: 24 Days Leading Up To Christmas

December 2nd: Giving At Christmas

Final counselling decision….

I felt as though i needed to finish my counselling blog posts in a way that explains my way of thinking and everything that was involved in the final decision.

I am not going back to counselling.

The last time i went for a session i felt somewhat put down and made to feel that everything was down to me being an attention seeker or a drama queen. I felt hurt and it pushed my confidence down to the lowest level it has ever been and with everything going on in my personal life at the moment i felt like it wasn’t giving me the release from my thoughts that i was promised.

The first time i went counselling i put it down to my expectations being too high and me going by what i had seen on TV and read about in books so even though i didn’t really want to i gave it a second go and went back with no expectations other than to be treated with respect. Now not only did i get put down for keeping a blog about my progress and experiences in life i was also made to feel like i was lazy. Therefore i came to the decision to not go back to counselling.

Now when i say i will not go back to counselling im not ruling getting help out im simply ruling out the counselling people i was with. As i said in previous posts im unsure whether the woman had something against me personally or she just had a bad day every day i went in but when i put myself in a mindset to do counselling i expect even the tiniest bit of  a positive outcome. Im aware that doesn’t come straight away and you have to work for it but to be put down to a degree you become even more secluded then what you are is ridiculous. As i have many resources now i am currently going down the self help route and searching through every option available to me in the hopes of living somewhat a normal life.

I will write my blog posts whilst im going through a self help journey as even though i have posted some pointers on it in the past i have never fully experienced it and i feel as though thats a completely different situation then just reading and being informed on the subject. Im aware this route is probably going to be harder as i am completely on my own with no professional help but in the long run it might help me more than someone else could and if not i have many paths to look down on what could help me in the future.

I feel like ive hit a stump these past years when ive been relying on someone else to give me the answers to my questions when in fact the whole time i needed to be asking myself these questions because granted i probably wont know the answer straight away but i’ll learn like the same with everything in life, you learn from experience. This just may be many more bad experiences then good.

Have a good day

Sky x

Follow me and check back on the 1st December for a blog post every day right up until Christmas!

Anxiety leading up to an event….

I came to the realization whilst staring at the ceiling trying to forget the fact i have a huge mess around me that needs to be tidied up that i have in fact never wrote a post about lead up anxiety. Now I am aware this can also be called just anxiety but what i mean is the thought of a certain event causing you to have anxiety for a long period of time.. As anxiety doesn’t just occur on the day of the event it can start from weeks before, the mere thought of it sending you into a panic. At this current moment in time i am in fact going through this, an upcoming mouth surgery i have to have playing in the back of my mind constantly. The thought absolutely terrifying me.

Personally i go through this many times, often leaving things till the last possible moment i can purely so the length of time i have anxiety about it is shortened. I remember when i traveled to bath and the whole 5 hour journey there i was in a pure panic and in tears on the phone the whole time. The night before that i cried myself to sleep at the thought, it petrifying me that i would have to go so far and leave so much behind for a period of days. This had occurred since the day i brought my tickets, im not saying i wasn’t excited because i was. It was a weekend to be able to go to the x factor and have time to myself but i just couldn’t stop myself from feeling anxious and sick and constantly bursting out in tears.

Another time i remember is when i went on a college trip, i had stayed at my nans the night before meaning i had already been away from my mum for a night already and i can just remember myself hiding in the spare room crying because i didn’t really want to go but back then i felt like i had something to prove to people as i had left school and didn’t really have anything going for me. I ended up spending every night crying because my anxiety completely took over me and i just threw up constantly, it making it worse by the fact i had to share a room and a toilet with several people so i never did get a minute to myself.

I remember before i got bad and i was able to travel i had traveled to London but spent the whole week leading up to it in bed throwing up and constantly feeling extremely anxious only to get to London and completely break down. Then when my anxiety got worse i would book things but spend the whole time before them panicking, crying in my bedroom and if i thought about it too much i would throw up and be in bed sick for a few days. The pressure on top of the anxiety to go making everything worse, making me become poorly so i never did go, meaning i had spent all that money and felt all that anxiousness for nothing.

I haven’t yet thought of a way to solve it as at this moment in time im not even attempting to travel anywhere or do anything out of my dept as i know just how bad it would turn out. You see ive had many suggestions thrown at me. Dont think about it? Thats impossible when its your main trigger, when you know it will probably end up in a disaster. Go through with it anyway? Oh how i wish i was one of those people that could ignore my anxiety and still travel but im not. I know my anxiety controls me but thats something i need to sort out for myself.

You see many people tell you to go through with something and then your anxiety for that would disappear but i dont think they understand to an extent just how bad it can get. They cater for the anxiety you get at the precise moment you’re going through with it, they dont at all think about the anxiety leading up to it. The tiny feeling that is constantly there throughout your days reminding you about it and niggling away at your thoughts. In my long history of counselling i have never once been given any help with the everyday anxiety, the little attacks you have when leading up to something big, they have only ever focused on a big event and i think thats where they’re going wrong.

Do any of you have a way you help your anxiety leading up to things? Im open for suggestions.

Thank you 

Sky x