I have a question, one that some people could probably relate to where as others may have no idea what im on about.
Have someone ever made it so obvious they hate your guts?
At first i thought it was me overthinking things and then i thought i was being silly and just picking out every single negative thing this person said to me because my brain had me convinced they hated me. Then other people started noticing how cruel said person could get to me, how everything i said would be added with a back comment from them on how stupid that idea was. If i wore something out there then i would be subject to a comment which wouldn’t necessarily be mean but would be said in a spiteful way. I suddenly became the victim of someones hatred and i wish it stopped there.
Granted people have hated me before and some probably still do but this is something more, i feel as though my life is under the watchful eye of this one person, that because they’re unable to control me they do it to everyone else around me. I dont feel comfortable having an opinion around them nor do i feel comfortable expressing any desire for anything because i know there will be a back comment. I mean there view on my life doesn’t really effect me majorly it just makes me feel uncomfortable to be open and with someone like me who isn’t comfortable being open anyway its pushing me back. Im not able to make steps to becoming who i want to be.
I know what you’re thinking, get away from them? If only it was that easy.
I think what bothers me more is that they come across as this semi nice, semi neat person when in fact if you’ve breathed near said person they’ve probably slagged you off but i feel with me its different. I have never said nor done nothing wrong to said person for them to be this way nor have i really shown much interest in them or their life but somehow i seem to be the centre of theirs.
Its like I’ve become their unhealthy obsession.
How do i work around that? How can i possibly make my life more comfortable when i have no way out from this watchful eye? I mean i could move away yes but i need help with most things, god i struggle to go places if it means im going on my own so god forbid what would happen if i moved out.
I just want to be comfortable.
Has anyone else experienced this before?
Have a good day
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