Starting Physiotherapy??

Around early November time i started to develop pains in my lower back, now getting pains in my back isn’t out of the ordinary. In fact ive gone through physiotherapy once before for the top of my back but this time it felt more serious. I couldn’t sit, walk or really do anything without having a pain which could only be described at feeling like a bone was pushing its way through my skin. Naturally i went to the doctors, or who i thought was the best doctor in the surgery i am currently at, the same doctor my mum saw funnily enough. He told me that i had damaged my coccyx even after me telling him i hadn’t had a fall or anything to hurt that area in any way.

I went away with no painkillers and the thought that in a couple of weeks or so the pain would have gone i could get back to somewhat a comfortable life. I didn’t, i went back to the doctors in December because the pain had become increasingly worse to be told the same thing, i went back again in January, twice in February and then i lost hope, i thought that maybe it was what they thought it was but mine was taking some time to heal so instead of going back to the doctors i dosed up on medication and hoped for the best and it worked for a while but eventually the pain got so bad the tablets didn’t help so i went back to the doctors and this time demanded that they helped me in some way as personally i felt as though there was something more wrong then what they were thinking. I got referred to physiotherapy.

The lady was great, she was polite and absolutely hilarious. She took her time at the beginning to understand the problem i had and even asked more in depth questions that i had never been asked about the pain before. Turns out i dont have a problem with my coccyx. In fact my hips arent level meaning my pelvis has gotten stuck and the bones in my lower back are working extra hard to try and push it back down into its rightful position but it isn’t working. I was informed that there was no way the pain would have eventually gone away like i was told as my body has to be exercised to try and manipulate everything to go back into its rightful place. I was told that eventually everything should go back to normal and that i will hopefully become pain free again which i cant even describe how happy hearing that makes me. Sitting down is becoming so painful that even writing this blog post I’ve had to move to different places several times in order to manage the pain in someway.

I must admit it was very strange at the physiotherapy, terrifying in fact. She was pulling my leg (literally) and the voices inside my head were convinced she was going to pull it off, she didn’t luckily its still there although my very vibrant odd socks were definitely admired. Im not going to lie i was definitely in pain after, in fact i was limping for the rest of the day because the pain caused when i put proper pressure was insane but im very happy that im hopefully moving in the right direction to finally get this problem sorted and its taught me that i know better then anyone else when something is wrong with myself and to follow my instinct no matter what.

Have a good day and dont forget to like my facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/Skylouiseblu/ so i can keep you all up to date with the progression of some of the issues I’ve written about.

Sky x

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Anxiety around Children…

Before i get in depth about this blog post i would like to just note here that i am in no way a parent, not legally or biologically. I am an auntie, i mean im sure if you speak to some of my family members they may disagree on that matter but thats a whole load of drama for another time, this blog post is simply the things i experience with my anxiety whilst my nieces are in my care.

For as long as i can remember i have been a very big part of my eldest nieces life. Her coming to stay at our house from a very young age meant mine are her bond grew to be something quite special. As she was growing up obviously you have the initial panicking everyone has when theres a baby around. Constantly checking if shes breathing when she seemed to sleep even a couple minutes longer, the fear of her putting something dangerous in her mouth or simply just the standard fear of her bumping her head when she finally got into the stages of exploring and my god Olivia has done it all.

When Olivia-May was first born i was so anxious to hold her or even pick her up as i never really knew how you was correctly meant to hold a baby and right until i knew she was able to hold her own head up i tried to avoid it, unless that is however someone passed her to me  and i was sitting down. I like to think I’ve become less anxious when holding babies as when my second niece Ellie came along i picked her up and carried her around no problem and she was ALOT smaller then Olivia.

Another thing that caused me to nearly call an ambulance quite often is the eye rolling, and again bare in mind i had no experience with or around children prior to my nieces. Its something that im still not able to handle. I have been told that babies when they’re first born dont have particularly good control of their eyes so some may roll alot where others may be pretty relaxed so i do understand the concept of it but for me personally i panic every time.

Even noises or funny movements. For example my eldest niece Olivia-May who will be 4 in August has this new thing where if shes excited, annoyed or just angry shes shake her body in a fit like manner and it PETRIFIES me. Im unsure where she suddenly picked it up from but as an adult its something i wish she never. I mean granted im happy in the sense there is nothing wrong when she does do it but my mind goes crazy and every time im petrified that its not her doing it and there is something wrong but at that age they eventually grow out of things and this is one of those things im hoping she grows out of soon.

With my eldest niece Olivia we didn’t really have that big a problem with her putting small objects in her mouth as she was quite attached to her dummy so she never really put anything that was dangerous in her mouth, that i can recall anyway but my youngest niece doesn’t have a dummy, never has and doesn’t really give them the time of day which means at any given advantage she will put ANYTHING in her mouth. Like you know when you’re sitting playing bricks after dinner and she picks something up and puts it in her mouth, i have that panic every time until its either out her mouth or we realise its nothing but abit of dinner shes dropped. Trust me that kid can eat.

Reading through these i like to think they’re quite normal things to be anxious about around children and they are. I mean i do have the odd moment when i become anxious thinking about what situation might be unfolding but thats not talk for such a public writing platform.

So all in all i dont think i get anymore anxious then a normal person around children, if im honest i feel like im alot more relaxed in the sense they dont take anything seriously, you can never do wrong in a kids eye and you never have any expectations from them to do anything, i mean i do spoil them both quite alot but i dont feel like i have to constantly be on edge around them in the way i would be in an adult situation. If anything they help my anxiety which is probably a good thing with the amount of time i spend looking after them. In all honesty it could become completely different the day i become a mother to my own kids and i could look back on this blog post wishing it was all this easy but that isn’t for at least another couple of years so for now i think i can rest a little.

Have a good day

Sky x

Life Update….

I feel in this blog post i should start off by apologising for the sudden stop in blogmas. My life suddenly got extremely busy and my parents haven’t been in the best of health meaning i haven’t really had the time to sit down and write a blog post to the standard i would like to achieve before uploading it. I must admit however that i did do far better then i ever thought i could do, always a plus.

After finally getting the time to sit down and write a post i suddenly found myself stuck on what to write about, so having so many things happening in my life lately and writing about it seemed like the right thing to do. I mean im not really 100% sure where i should start but somewhere at the beginning sounds reasonable.

Since my last blog post that was somewhat life related my families been hit with many troubles, some obviously not being wrote about as we are keeping it all very personal but long story short my dads not much better. In fact hes alot worse. Over this past month we have just seen such a fall in his already bad health its worrying. Sadly we have to wait until January for results on this situation so until then all we can do is pray.

These last couple of months i promised myself i would focus on my anxiety and ways that are good to me to beat certain issues. I could sit here and write fake scenarios but quite frankly it hasn’t happened. If anything my anxiety and depression are becoming worse. Silly things like someone putting a whole sweet in their mouth turns me into a panicking mess when usually i can ignore it, i can focus my mind on other things but thats not the case anymore. This leads me to more problems because where do i go from here? Granted theres a way out somewhere like im always being told but i feel like ive searched it for so long that now im coming upto 20 years old its becoming desperate.

I always imagined by 20 that i would have my life together and at least have some sort of thought about my future. My goal being to be settled and happy enough to have kids by at least 25. I now know how impossible that is. Its scary because i get hit with things all the time but my mind rejects opportunities, it rejects people and no one really understands it to the point they carry on until they know my mind can come round, it scares them off instead. It leads to me almost hiding in myself as i know just what will happen, like the many times it has before. I want to sit here and say by the end of 2017 i will be writing a post about how together my life has become in the last year but im finding that tricky to imagine when im not the sort of person to go chasing after things and im certain not special enough for people to come chasing after me.

Leaving this blog post on a positive note however, 2 days till Christmas!!!

Have a good day

Sky x

My nieces presents?

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I’ve been asked plenty a times what i have gotten for my two nieces, Olivia-May (3) and Ellie-Harlee (1 1/2) for Christmas. I didn’t particular want to write a post about everything they got as there is quite a list so i felt like i could do it in a way that gives off an idea in case other people are struggling to think of ideas for the little ones in their family. I must also stress that they both have a couple of major presents each which i will not mention in this blog post.

Olivia-May

Now with Olivia its really quite easy. Shes at that age where she is into everything. She sees an advert and immediately its ‘can you get that for my birthday’ whether she really understands what it does or not. The excitement of getting something shes seen is what really fuels her interest in a certain toy. However she happens to go through these stages where shes very obsessed with something. First it was Thomas the tank engine then its dinosaurs and even though she still is quite obsessed with dinosaurs her new current obsession in the secret life of pets and these surprise bags that are also known as blind bags.

Now these blind bags are quite possibly the bane of my life. Granted they are a very good idea but my god im sure i hear her asking for them in her sleep. The moment she claps her eyes on one shes convinced she HAS to have it, along with the other 100 that is with it. The negative to these things being they are as much as £3.50 for quite possibly the littlest toy known to man. Whatever makes her happy i suppose. Youtube also has a very big network of users who do openings so the more she watches the more she wants to get until she has a certain character. In October i got the idea of possibly putting together a large egg or even just a large bag which is filled with different blind bags, just as a bit of fun and so she could experience what everyone on the video does as she watches them with such admiration however i wanted it to be with things i knew she was interested in and played with which was even more difficult as i just knew on the lead up to Christmas she will want every single one she sees. As it was impossible to be able to afford such a large amount of these in a matter of a week before Christmas i had to start straight away in saving the money which meant i searched online for different things i knew wasn’t available in the shops near us. Im hoping with all the planning it works out in time. Wish me luck!

Another thing Olivia is very into is Play doh! Every since she was younger she was very into making things, constantly using her Play Doh! as a way to make new and different dresses or capes for her tiny Disney princesses. Now we have a very small supply of cutters and just general things that could make Play Doh! more fun for her so i went in search for different things, things i knew she would enjoy. I happened to come across a Play Doh! set specifically for making dresses for Disney princesses, result!

The last thing i am going to talk about regarding Olivias presents is this new thing out. Robo fish. When Olivia was i think 2 she got a couple of fish. Sadly for some reason fish just dont seem to like our house. They are looked after and we follow every single instruction to a t but they just dont want to stay. This means we have a very upset Olivia when we have to explain to her that they are in fishy heaven however when she saw this she was absolutely obsessed, on the floor hugging it tightly obsessed. At just £9.99 i had to buy it. A couple of days after i was in Wilkinsons with her and we were in search of a blind bag when she came across a baby dory fish. Me being uneducated i just assumed it was a swigglefish as she has those for her large stingray she has here but on closer inspection i realise it is actually a dory robo fish, again i had to buy it. I cant wait to see her face when she opens that!!

Ellie-Harlee

Ellie, bless my precious one. Shes so sensitive, always has been and probably always will be. Shes not very into much apart from wrecking the place, eating and cuddling her babas so thinking of Christmas presents was very difficult for her as there wasn’t really a range of things she was into. I felt as though it was only safe for me to go for things i knew she would 100% like as i am aware that at her age they go off things very quickly. Like her sister she likes to play (or snatch, you choose) with little dollies however the only ones she has are her elder sisters which happen to have quite small parts for her age (and my very panicky heart) so i thought it would be a nice idea to try and find some dolls that would be just for her, safe and fun.

Now as i mentioned before Ellie is very into dolls and cuddly toys. This meaning for Christmas she is pretty much suffocated in dolls and teddies. Looking around town a month or so ago when i started my Christmas shopping i was abit stuck as i didn’t really want to get her just a normal teddy, i wanted it to be a teddy that she could cuddle but also something fun that she could play with and learn along. I happened to come across a Zootopia teddy which has a switchable outfit and you are also able to learn along with it as it is electronic. For £5.99 i couldn’t resist.

I thought about getting stuff to help Ellie learn as well as play as she is very much cushioned which means shes very slow in picking things up but with the fact shes not into playing very much it can be quite difficult in finding the right toy that could grab her attention long enough. She does however (for the first time) have a big girl pram for her dolls that she can push around as the arguments in this house over whos the pram is is becoming to the point i dont want a sister killing a sister, thank you.

The last thing i am going to mention about Ellies presents is her VERY large elephant teddy. I mean an elephant for Ellie, i can never not. Every since she was younger i was buying her elephant themed things, the cuteness of them and my very amused self couldn’t stop so when i went into Wilkinsons and saw a elephant teddy i couldn’t resist. I mean granted its probably 4 times the size of her but hey at least shell have a cuddle buddy at night!

I’ll be sure to let you know how everything goes on the day!

Dont forget to follow my blog as every day up until Christmas i will be posting a blog post!! 

Have a good day

Sky x

BLOGMAS LINKS.

December 1st: 24 Days Leading Up To Christmas

December 2nd: Giving At Christmas

December 3rd: Santa Claus was in my living room?

December 4th: Anxiety at Christmas…

December 5th: Christmas Decorating…

December 6th: My favourite Christmas treat…

December 7th: Christmas over the years….

December 8th: 20 Blogmas Ideas….

December 9th: My Christmas Playlist

December 10th: My Christmas List….

December 11th: THE CHRISTMAS TAG!!