Earlier on when I was just being my general nosy self i happened to come across that it had actually been roughly a year since i wrote a blog post on how damaging i found the fact that i couldn’t travel on a train. Its scary really because i can remember exactly how i felt at that time and how i felt as a person, which wasn’t very important that’s for sure. I had this unusual fear of the unknown and how it could affect me especially in travelling. If anything i had a fear or a sudden illness rearing its ugly head in my parents whilst i was gone for the day. This meaning i missed out on a lot of potentially exciting life events, and a lot of money. It also meant i lost a lot of friends due to people just really not understanding the true severity of it. Sad but true reality.
Somehow and if I’m 100% honest with you I’m still not sure on how i really got the guts to even give it a try, maybe i felt forced or maybe something just suddenly clicked in my mind and i was able to travel. I mean don’t get me wrong its taken me nearly an extra year to be able to travel in a comfortable way and don’t ask me to travel to any other places because that’s just too soon for me but at this current moment in time i’m really happy with the progress i have made.
In a way its made me happier, sounds silly but its given me a tiny bit of freedom that in a way i needed. I felt so trapped and constricted in my life that to finally have some sort of freedom and time to myself makes such a big difference to my life and the fact I’m finally able to create memories that mean something means a tonne more.
Obviously there are other things in life that I’m still pretty much afraid of that could really help in making some life changes but if i get too into that then that’ll be a side of me exposed and at this moment in time i’m not ok with that nor do i have anyone around me in which i trust enough to confide in. Another sad truth.
If I’m honest I just wanted to write this post because when my life really was at rock bottom i was convinced that in no way it could get better and every time someone said to me it will eventually get better i just laughed it off. I mean granted my life isn’t better in every aspect but the small improvement in that one aspect makes a tonne of difference. A tonne of happiness. So even to some people it may seem like the tiniest thing, for me it’s the best thing that could’ve happened. After all they do say that its the small things that make the biggest of differences.
Have a good day